Ever since I started this new blog, I’ve been struggling to think of things to write. I’ve had in mind a few things that tend to get a bit meta - posts about how to behave around other people on the internet, where blogs fit into reading, and so on - but once I leave them in my drafts folder for a week or so, the colour just fades out of them. Stuff like that isn’t interesting.
But then again - and I don’t want to sound melodramatic here - my life hasn’t been interesting lately. I don’t mean this as moaning, but I’m still adjusting to living with no studies and a state of unemployment, while hoping that the latter element changes in the foreseeable future. Knowing that I’m hoping to change my situation soon doesn’t give me the greatest motivation to Make The Most Of Now, either.
This is kind of what I mean when I call this part of my life a blank slate - not just that the canvas of my everyday life is suddenly a lot emptier, but that it’s difficult to fill it again. I’m reading, playing games, and watching films, but those three - to varying extents - require a certain attitude. I’ve been stuck in the mode of constantly having something else to do for so long, that it’s tricky to slip out of it and appreciate things in the moment.
Having said that, I’m getting there. I finally built up the courage to leave my monolothic Instapaper file on my Kindle, and now I’m reading American Gods by Neil Gaiman. It’s weird, more than a little strange, and one of the more prominent secondary characters reminds me so much of Ray Wise that I’m a little disturbed. I want to watch more films, and started out this week with Dr. No; it’s about time I filled the Bond-shaped gap in my viewing history, and I’ll probably follow it up with From Russia With Love soon enough. Oh - and I finally got to see The Avengers (sorry: Marvel’s Avengers Assemble, because that clarifies everything) this week, and it was very silly, fun as heck and incredibly enjoyable despite lacking any discernible depth. So I’m getting there.
I might continue to be quiet for a while. I need to figure my head out, and while blogging feels good, angst about not knowing what to post doesn’t. If I disappear, I’ll be back.