I’m in this odd state of flux, where I’m torn between being anxious to leave and anxious to experience everything British one last time - often, one follows the other almost immediately, like a reprimand.

Yesterday, we went to Dunham Massey - a park and stately home about twenty minutes’ drive from my house. We came here quite a lot when I was younger - it’s big enough that you can spend the whole day walking around, but the main attractions are localised enough that you can get around them in about an hour. I came camping here once when I was in the Cub Scouts.

My anxiety about the future comes from the things I stand to lose. When I arrive in America, whether I prosper or not will rely almost exclusively on the generosity of others - so much money has been consumed by actually getting out there that I really don’t have much left. Things as simple as healthcare and a social safety net are out of my grasp. But there are wider things, too. I can start walking in one direction in the town where I live, and within 15 minutes I can end up in the middle of a forest - and I don’t exactly live out in the countryside. Walking in general is important to me, but the place I’m moving to - while blessed with plenty of footpaths - is too insular to really encourage any creativity in your choice of route. Getting outdoors is exercise, not pleasure.

There are new boundaries to negotiate when I arrive. A whole world of unfamiliar contours. Cell phone plans, student loan repayment, a job market that sees a one-hour commute as an advantage rather than a hassle. Cheaper food. Better television. And, alongside all that, trying to hold up my end and stay confident alongside someone for whom the US way of doing things is second nature. I have seen the word “alien” a lot in the last few months, and I am starting to see why.

For now, though, there are parks, and short bus journeys to the heart of the city, and no air conditioning, and the NHS. There is a job I can commute to in fifteen minutes. Time left to examine and reflect on the things I have while I’m here.