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“Every day there is a choice: remain stuck in the false allure of the past or embrace the truth of the present. Who you are today is not the same as the person you were yesterday or the person you will be tomorrow. It is important—no, vital—to drink up.”
The Day After Yesterday (Sideways, 2004) by Michelle Said.
This has been a stressful week for a couple of reasons (I’ll get to them at some point), but essays like this are keeping me afloat.
“Little Red Riding Hood – Red was the name she preferred – was down a dingy, forgotten street in London. She’d just made her first kill. Her mother would be proud, if she hadn’t died of poverty the previous year.”
“Harvey Milk always said that this was how the revolution would happen: one lonely kid at a time.”
“Hamburgers and hot dogs too, I wanna have a barbecue”
“… later on Fred evolved into Bob Arctor, somewhere along the sidewalk between Pizza Hut and the Arco gas station… and the terrible colors seeped back into him whether he liked it or not.”
“Take Goodfellas, add The Big Lebowski, throw in Rain Man, ladle on a generous helping of Chasing Amy and top it off with a steaming pile of bullshit and you’ve got Gigli, the 2003 film that aimed to capitalise on the burgeoning romance between Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez and instead left critics everywhere slack-jawed in disbelief.”
“In other words, Newt is an ideal candidate because when an infant pestered him, he hacked it, took it like a man, a pro. If it were Romney? And an infant started fucking with him? You know it would be bad, some pediatric version of the time he sang “Who Let the Dogs Out” to black teens in Florida. “Hello, little organism different from myself. I will now make noises that I believe are comprehensible to your kind.”
“You’re living in the age of the Internet. Your religion will be mocked, and the mockery will find its way to you. Get over it. If you don’t, what’s happening this week will happen again and again. A couple of idiots with a video camera and an Internet connection will trigger riots across the globe. They’ll bait you into killing one another. Stop it. Stop following their script.”
“George Bush is alive. Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Henry Kissinger and Tony Blair; these are real, life sucking, child killing monsters and this, is Enya. All I’m gonna say is if you’re going to hate, hate positively.”
“For every bunch of dubiously photogenic fetal-alcohol-syndrome cases from New Jersey who get on the TV for ten minutes, there are ten times as many people at MIT inventing the future.”
“Then, in 2000, one groundbreaking episode of Sex And The City made the Manolo Blahnik demographic sit up and take notice: Heroine Carrie Bradshaw found a new swagger in her step after waxing it off. And once Carrie was bare down there … well, remember when the Sex And The City girls ate cupcakes? Let’s put it this way: There’s now a cupcake bakery on every other corner in upper Manhattan.”
“For decades, oodles of people have cited a certain quip given by Master Yoda in The Empire Strikes Back, which reads:
“Do or do not. There is no ‘try’.”
This is an incredibly idiotic statement.
”
“Curt Schilling likes World of Warcraft, so he ruined 379 lives.”
“I suggest to the Covent Garden authorities that, if they feel bound to protect their subscribers against the dangers of my shocking them with a blue tie, they are at least equally bound to protect me against the danger of a woman shocking me with a dead bird.”
“Anyone can be passionate but it takes real lovers to be silly.”
“FHM have made sexy boring.”
“I’ve set the bar quite high in terms of storytelling”
Fifty Shades of Grey author E. L. James. (via millionsmillions)
I DO NOT THINK THAT WORD MEANS WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS.
(via ecantwell)
I only learned today that F-SOG (as I’ll inexplicably refer to it in future) started life as a piece of Twilight fanfiction. This both confirms my fears about the public and reminds me to keep the hell away from them.
“I am not kidding when I say that I find incredibly esoteric and specialized porn to be one of the most life-affirming things in the world. Even… no, especially the stuff that doesn’t do anything for me. Every giantess crush site, every furry vore gallery, every Shintaro Kago shit-and-dissection-fest, every body-inflation discussion group, every set of specialized apron-fetish films, every dendrophile fan club, every time I learn a new word like “boytaur” or “OT3″ or “docking” or “unbirth”… all these things bring me a genuine and unironic joy. These things, these kinks, these flights of imagination, are the impassioned obsessions of real people, everyday people. At least one of your coworkers, at least one of your family members. And that’s not creepy, that’s wonderful. Every one of those weird kinks is a shout of human individuality in a world that wants to reduce us down to buying patterns and demographic trends.”
““Lawrence of my labia!” a woman on the screen says. Her eyes look like the eyes of someone who is very tired but knows they should not look tired or they might let someone down. Lawrence might be let down.”
Thanks for visiting, we look forward to hearing from you.